Saturday, November 20, 2010

Eat me

Alright, let's get one thing out of the way right now: I like to eat.

Yeah, the rumors are true. I love food. I love putting it in my mouth and chewing it whilst savoring the flavors and textures melding together to create a symphony of ecstasy in my mouth.


When people ask me what I like to do in my spare time I tell them simply: eat. They always laugh like I'm joking. "No, seriously" I have to tell them. One of the great pleasures in life for me is researching places to eat and then eating there. Lately I've been into food trucks. Seattle has some truly great ones and I've made it to all but one so far. They move around everyday so it's fun to track them down, it's kind of like pheasant hunting (I think).

Why am I telling you this? You may already know this about me. I'll tell you. Since moving to Seattle I have had NUMEROUS people comment on how MUCH I eat. Seriously.

It happened at work first. 4 separate times.

1. Co-worker walks in to the kitchen as I sit down to my delicious bowl of soup for lunch and says "wow, that's a really big portion for one person. Are you going to eat all of that?". OF COURSE I AM.

2. Sitting down to my Chinese noodles and veggies. Co-worker #2 says "I can't believe you just ate ALL of that!". OF COURSE I DID.

3. We have cupcakes for a co-workers birthday one day. I wanted to try all the flavors. My boss says "Are you really going to eat more of those??". OF COURSE I AM.

4. Too many other instances to mention at work. Honestly, they act like I'm trying to train for the IFOC (international federation of championship eating). I'm just a fan. They think I'm a pig.

5. I'm at a conference yesterday downtown and I had a small breakfast and by the time noon came around I was starving... They served us my favorite crab bisque in a cup. Mmmmm I polished it of. Next up a grilled chicken salad. I ate it up. The waiter comes up to me leans over and says "do you need more to eat?" and then he starts to laugh. He didn't ask any of the other 127 women if they needed more to eat.

6. Later that night at the same conference we had a cocktail hour with cheese and crackers and fried ravioli (new to me and delicious!). I get a small plate and take it to a table of ladies I've never met before. We chat while I eat my sparse pickings and then I decide I want a little more cheese so I went back to the food table. The new ladies from my table were also there getting some grub and one says "look who's back for seconds!!!!" to me. REALLY.

I'm getting it right and left. Friend or foe, they all say the same thing. I have to wonder if they live in the same city as me. There is SO much great food here! How can they not want to eat it all? Especially with me? I'm really fun to eat with! I love it so much that sometimes I make noises that I'm unaware of like "mmmm", "mmmm". Yeah, I mutter delicious sounds while I enjoy my meal. Who cares?

Everyone gets their kicks and giggles somehow. I'm not judging you for taking spin class at the unearthly hour of 5am or maxing out your Nordstrom card. Go forth and enjoy yourself!

Just stop making me feel like the fat kid. Because you know what? I am.

I'm phat. Holla.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Something that says...Leather Daddy

There are a few things that I'm afraid of in the fashion world.

Mini-skirts, batwing sleeves, chenille, letterman's jackets (and more specifically, suede), corset tops, turtle-necks and leather jackets.

Some because I can't pull them off (mini=skirts) and others because no one can pull them off (batwing sleeves and corset tops). Others for no other reason than I just can't do it (leather jackets).

But I changed my tune two days ago.

I saw this leather jacket about two months ago and instantly fell in love with it. Like fatal attraction fell in love with it. But there was NO WAY I was going to pay full price for it. I don't even like leather jackets. I have a serious aversion to leather jackets (on me).

I don't exactly know where this came from. I love leather shoes and bags and fur coats and even leather accessories - but I have a strict no leather jacket and pants policy. Yeah, you read that right. I won't wear leather pants either.

And yes, I've tried both. My mother owns dozens of leather pants, literally. And I mean she actually has probably a dozen pairs of leather pants - not that way Rachel Zoe would say literally. And you know what? She looks amazing in them. She pulls them off quite nicely. In fact, she pulls off everything she tries to wear quite nicely and believe you me...she has tried to wear everything.

And she has tried to push me into leather many times. The farthest I got was one leather skirt in baby blue which is pretty awesome, but that's it. She even bought me my own pair of leather pants... TWICE! I tried. Really, I did. But as soon as I took a step and it sounded like I needed to grease my squeaky joints I chickened out. Some of you may have the luxury of never feeling your inner thighs but I am quite familiar with mine and the last thing I need is leather rubbing together to accentuate that.

She bought me jackets both suede and not and every time they ended up in her closet. They just give me the willies. Plus they remind me of Ross on Friends.

But back to the jacket. I stalked it (which is where the fatal attraction comes in to play). For the past 2 months I have periodically gone back to check on it. You know, see how's it doing, check the price, make sure no one else has kept the price artificially inflated.

And I've been faithful. I even tried it on once and decided it didn't look that good. But nonetheless I have thought about it every. single. day. since then. I would look out my office window at the store down below and wonder what it was doing.

So finally after stopping at another store I thought I should just go and check on it one more time....

There was only one left in my size. Panic! So I put it on, took pictures of myself in it and then tried to talk myself out of it. I really did. But there was no denying just how cool I looked in it.
Totally cool.

So I took it home where it belonged and at less than half price no less.

I really do look cool. I'll prove it. There's a million picture of me in it on my phone. But you only get one:
Ok, two.
And here is a link that will take you to a video montage of Rachel Zoe misusing the word literally. Literally.