Thursday, March 18, 2010


I did some embarrassing things today.

At a place full of other people.

I was at a marketing conference for work at the local posh sports club/events center downtown. I was there to get a little experience and meet some people.

Long story short I flung my dirty lunch knife into my purse on the floor without knowing because I was too busy stuffing my starving face. I didn't figure it out until the guy it narrowly missed sitting next to me retrieved it and put it back on the table next to me. I like to keep our sponsors on their toes - or maybe cut off their toes.

And the next one was bad. I had been having a little.....gas. And I had been releasing it in small quantities quietly sitting by myself in the back. No harm, no foul. It was like Iocane powder - odorless, tasteless and dissolved instantly. Anyway, 15 min before the close of the conference it happened. You guessed it. It was audible. Short and loud. And there was no one sitting next to me. Only the people around me heard and I totally tried to play it off like it wasn't me. I actually made a big deal of making a really offended face like it was someone by me and I was grossed out. Whatever, they knew. They all knew.


Monday, March 8, 2010

Love thy neighbors as thyself

I was driving home with Ricky yesterday and I asked him, "Is this city making me a different person"?

And I didn't mean in a good way.

Seattle has many wonderful things to offer the human spirit. It's green and the weather is temperate. There are 3 professional sports teams here and access to the ocean with it's abundance of seafood for me to eat. There is fabulous shopping and whale watching and the city itself is totally walkable, which is wonderful. If you want to eat all the multiple grains of the world you have them all at your fingertips and people here actually use reusable shopping bags. And I have said time and time again that giving birth and being a mother in Seattle must be amazing because you have every sort of birthing program your heart could desire. Also, the mothers here wear WHATEVER they want - attractive or not. Awesome.


It rains a lot in winter (which actually hasn't been that bad), people get mad if you don't use a reusable shopping bag (true story) and there are a lot of people who don't shave - male and female. It's a bit pricey to live here and lately people have been picking off our police force which is no bueno for anyone. And all the neighborhoods have pockets of good and bad which gets really confusing when looking for housing.

The last bit of that is why I think Seattle is making me a not so good person. We happen to live in a medium part. A cool neighborhood that is up and coming. The problem with that is we are between the up part and the coming part. We sort of live in the hood...sort of. And I find myself just judging every hoodlum that hangs out on our street corner. I have no hope for them. Not one part of me wants to help them in any way when I look into their vacant eyes. I just wish they would go away. I don't care where, just away from here.

I don't like feeling like that.

It's such a pessimistic view. I've never thought of myself that way. I'm a realist, but an optimistic one. I'm wondering if the way I feel is just a bi-product of living in a big city or if it really is just me.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Don't look at me

They say that eyes are the window to the soul.

If that is true then I say eyebrows are the windows to your face.

And my eyebrows are sending mixed messages.

Should we go up or down? Right or left? Curl or not curl?

They can't get it right - and neither can I.

Because I am afflicted with what can only be described as "parental halfsies" (one side of my body reflects my mother, the other side reflects my dad. To be more specific: Left side mom, right side dad) I have had an awful time getting the eyebrows to reflect their close genetic link.

My left eyebrow is lovely and curves elegantly at just the right place. The hairs tend to group nicely and evenly making a very aesthetically pleasing picture. My right eyebrow on the other hand is very unruly. Just imagine having one of YOUR dad's eyebrows on your face.

No bueno.

It requires all my time and attention and it's just a distraction really.

I'm now considering having them "shaped" in hopes that someone else might be able to do what I never could: make my face windows shine!

I'm so sick of looking at myself in pictures and seeing what can only be described as thin koosh balls on my face.