Sunday, January 24, 2010

Ain't nothin like the real thing baby

I blame Motown for a lot of things but especially for making the best music ever and then never being able to repeat it.

But mostly I'm blaming Motown for making my day yesterday a little less than productive.

I started an Al Green station (one of my favorites) on Pandora the other day at work and I haven't been able to stop. So naturally when I got out of the shower yesterday and was looking for some tunes I turned that on.

Then things went down hill.

I took me f-o-r-e-v-e-r to get dressed because I had to burst into spontaneous dancing bouts both standing and sitting in the chair. I couldn't help it.

And the whole goal of yesterday was trekking to the grocery store...finally. But even that was delayed because I had to download 4 CD's of Motown's greatest hits so it could keep me company in the car.

And then I didn't want to get out of the car.

It also helped me cooked dinner - for hours.

Send me your address and I'll help you be less productive too.

I promise.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Whada ya say doll?

The Crazies were out today! So much so that I actually turned around my wedding ring on the train ride home.

It started with a rather interesting woman sitting by who told me she needed her inhaler. I said nothing.

Then she yelled, "HEY! You almost hit me!" to the woman who walked past her who did not almost hit her.

Then she mumbled and stared and mumbled some more.

Finally she got up and moved when another homeless looking man sat across from her. And from where she moved I could hear a chorus of expletives followed by something about someone always blowing a saxophone in her face and how she does NOT like it.

I thought I was home free.

Then a man came on and sat across me and proceeded to harass me.

"Whhhaada ya say doll?" He started with.

Then when I looked the other way he said it again. When I still didn't answer he apologized for being so drunk and slid a seat over. And boy was he ever drunk. I think the people one car over could smell him.

2 seconds later he started again. "Whooo gives you the right to sit there with thooose boxes and look so good" he slurred. "What are you I-taliano?". And then another apology.

Then the classic, "You don't who I am. My family has money". Sure. I'm sure that your family has money sir, now I will go home with you. Gross.

You may be wondering why I didn't just move seats. Well, the answer is two-fold. 1-there weren't that many empty seats and 2-I had these two huge boxes to take home and this was the place they fit best.

He kept going and going and at one point he told me I was "as dumb as they come". All the while I am looking in the opposite direction trying to ignore him whilst sending negative thoughts towards him in my brain.

Finally a stop before mine I couldn't take it anymore and I got up with my huge boxes and stood by the door. He followed and started talking to the homeless man and they were both agreeing how the cops could f*** themselves. I seriously worried he would get off at my stop but luckily he didn't.

At first it was amusing, then funny and then eventually a wee bit scary.

And then I relived it as I schlepped the 6 blocks home juggling the big boxes worrying someone was going to jump me for my goods. the sweet city life. What did you do today?

Sunday, January 17, 2010


I've been drinking old water lately.

I always get thirsty right at the same time every morning after the same yogurt and grape nuts I always eat.

So I get a big glass and fill it full of mostly cold water and drink it as I keep getting ready. It inevitably ends up on the desk in the bedroom and I rarely finish it all.

Then the next day I'm suddenly thirsty and there it is. Old water full of the bubbles that water gets when it sits out.

As a self-processed non-water snob I drink it anyways because it's still water, right? It can't have gone bad necessarily, even though it tastes a little old.

But today I woke up from my nap and I was SO thirsty (thanks to a side affect of my birth control that I had no idea about until recently) and I needed a drink, like, now. I looked over and there it was. My camelback water bottle full of water that had been sitting there for weeks. So I gulped it down.

It wasn't that bad. But I kept thinking about someone I know who won't drink old water. Is it you? And then I thought about one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies names Superstar: "You should be embarrassed because your parents named you after bottled water!".

As a side note - My husband is video chatting with his brother from the bathroom. No good can possibly come of this.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Location, location, location

Sometimes I wonder how much of a snob I am.

I mostly feel like a snob when it comes to looking for new housing. Also when it comes to fake designer bags from China. I'm just not interested. I'm past that point in my life - and I have TJ Maxx which serves my real leather bags interest just fine.

My point is this: Today I sat in the car while Ricky went and meet someone we had an apt showing with. I refused to get out of the car and even acknowledge that we were there. I sat in the car and waited until Ricky was done and came back out.

You don't understand. It was this long street full of shanty duplexes with all sorts of crap in the yards. Crap everywhere. And it seemed like all the windows were covered in sheets. I have a thing about that. Get a curtain. Or at least a sheet without prints that gives it away.

I just didn't want to be there.

And now we are back to the same place we were 6 months ago. Do we pay a little more for something we will really like or pay way less for less space just to save some money?

I vote the first one.

Friday, January 15, 2010

I can see clear now, the clouds disappear

OK, I can tell by the lack of comments on that last post that my wish has finally come true and no one is reading this. Although I do feel bad that nobody got to click on the link I included and experience the joy to be found there.

But it doesn't really matter because it just kind of goes with my new decade. 2010 has started off on the er, wonky side of the foot. It hasn't been necessarily that bad, but it hasn't been that good either.

My car is growing mold.
I left my prized hair straightener in Utah.
I busted open my rain boots.
I forgot to put in a certain lady part apparatus that stops you up...twice. Which brought about some consequences of it's own.
My visiting teaching companion refused to take me home and ditched me at church - Well...actually she honked and honked while I stood at the locked door until the lone man doing genealogy came and let me in. Thank heavens for the lone man because Ricky wasn't answering his phone, arg. But it did give me plenty of time to catch up on my August 2000 New Era articles. Hey Saudi Arabia Stake Young Women, where are you all now?
I changed at the last minute before heading out the door to go to work and once I was at work I noticed you could totally see my bra through my shirt.
And then later that day I set a paper towel on fire in the break room trying to retrieve my co-workers cookie from the toaster oven.

I think all of this is some sort of a cosmic consequence for not making a new years resolution for the first time in a long time. Actually, my resolution this year was to get a resolution. Which hasn't worked by the way. I feel sort of like a failure because I didn't fulfill my last resolution to try all different types of lettuce to the fullest. I have yet to buy endive.

C'mon. Total Failure.

So that's about it for now. It feels good to let it all out, even if no one is going to read this.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Mary...what about the spores?


So it's no secret that it rains a lot where I live.


But it was a secret to me, until now, what all this rain was really going to do - besides ruin my shoes and frizz my hair.

I didn't realize that it was going to grow things. Fuzzy things.

Patches of fuzzy things where there shouldn't be any.

I opened my car door today and saw a patch of green mold growing on my car. ON my car.

On metal. I didn't even know that was possible. But it goes nicely with the mold I recently discovered on the shower curtain.

They say everything comes in three's so I'm getting ready to find another mold patch. I just hope that I don't find it on myself because THAT... I do know can happen.

And it's not like I can be the boy in the Secret Garden and avoid going outside to escape the spores - no, mine grow inside and out.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Sometimes you feel on top of things and very in charge.

Then sometimes you find yourself using paper towels in lieu of toilet paper. (that reminds me, I once watched something that said you needed at least 7 sheets of t.p. between you and your hand to keep the germs at bay. I think about that every time. Every time).