Dust it off

Dear Whitney-

Remember that time our Peruvian hats got tangled together while we were wearing them? And then when I was working with the internet I found a dating site with BYU in its name, even though it wasn't affiliated, so I signed up a fake profile saying I was majoring in astrophysics and used this picture so people wouldn't know which one I was? Ha. I do.

I just couldn't help it

I'm trying to be responsbile and I'm trying to take care of myself so I decided to be proactive and get vaccinated. I took myself to the doctor today and received my first shot of Gardasil to ward of HPV (cervical cancer). And on a side note, this was the first time I remember taking a shot in the keyster. It wasn't that bad, I took it like a champ. But I was not prepared for what happened next. I was hanging out with Guille and we (more like I) decided that Sesame Street was a good way to un-hyper ourselves (actually just him). I love the calle de Sesame and so I watched with him enjoying the letter F and Mr. Noodles trying to answer three phones at once. Then it cuts to Big Bird leading a small mariachi band composed of children in Guadalupe, AZ. Fine, I love mariachi music and I like kids. So far so good. And then all of a sudden it cuts to some children in traditional dress dancing with eachother swirling their colorful skirts to and fro and suddenly this little boys voice cuts in singing "Viva Mexico annnnnd America". My eyes began to well up and my throat felt tight and then I knew. I was going to cry. It took all the strength I had left to not let the tears pour forth out of my eyes. I don't know why but I was just so filled with emotion and I'm not even Mexican!!! It was so STUPID! I didn't want my nephew to see me crying so I sucked it all in but man.....I just felt so moved - for no reason. This wasn't normal so I marched over to my bag and fished out the vaccine information sheet they gave me. I quickly scanned for the side effects and was disappointed. Dizzyness, nausea, pain at the injection site.......nothing on over emotionality. This can't be right. OK, so one time I teared up at the Applebee's commercial when the high school coach gets a plaque put on the wall but that's it. It just had to be the shot or I'm suddenly over emotional. Gross. Here is MY warning label for Gardasil: Do not take if prone to over sentamentality or sensitivity to children, animals or animals dressed as children. Please take caution when taking Gardasil around elementary school or primary programs. If you feel like crying or hugging at any time please notify your doctor because these could be signs of a more serious condition. Some women experienced extreme shame from side effects.

I want M-O-N-E-Y

Something wicked this way comes and it comes by way of my violet colored leather wallet. A couple of weeks ago i noticed this strong cloud of cologne surrounding me. I had just finished eating at this delicious Brazilian restaurant when I pulled a dollar out of my wallet and was immediately hit in the face with the most pungent over-the-top cologne smell ever. But i couldn't figure it out at the time. I thought it might have been someone who had just walked by our booth. It took me a couple of nose watering payments to figure out it was in my wallet. Cash, cards, receipts......all are laced with the stench of a greasy Guido. Its not a sickening Stetsony scent, more like a doused on Armani - heavy on the Italian. Its not wearing off, if anything it is growing strong in the warm, dark environment of the wallet. I grabbed some cash tonight to pay for Cousin E and I's shakes and the whole car filled with the eye-burning smell. Its freezing outside and we had to roll the windows down to keep from asfixiating ourselves. To be fair I haven't emptied the wallet to find the source because I just figured I would have spent it already. Guess not. And everytime I smell that......that smell I am left to ponder how money can be that saturated with cologne. Was it on the dresser when the cologne bottle spilled? Was it rubbed repeadetly on the neck of a greasy Guido? Is that someone's 'signature piece'? Has it been in a strip joint? Yuck.

What time is it?

Someone wake me up. I'm living in some sort of alternate sphere that has skewed reality for me. 3am has become the same as 3pm. I stay up until all hours of the night and then I sleep in until high noon. This is not normal. I already have a somewhat charmed life living at home nannying my blood 2 days a week without having to go grocery shopping and now I have taken advantage of the Thanksgiving holiday. I feel bad. I feel....unproductive. I feel relaxed. I feel like I'm milking workmans comp and I didn't even have to saw a pinky off. I feel kinda lucky and I feel kinda like rubbing it in your face. I have come to appreciate a schedule but not this week. I woke up when I wanted and went wherever I wanted. I ate rolls, tiramisu, clam chowder and chips and salsa with no regard for whether or not they went together. It was pure unadulterated chaos of the best kind. Now I need something different. Something to bring order back into my lawless exsistence. So I brainstormed today and came up with this: no text messaging for a week. I had originally propsed 2 weeks but I recognize my weaknesses and got smart. For one week I will either have to ignore or call back any person who sends me a text message. But why cut out text messaging you might be wondering. Because they are my favorite medium for communication. I have friends whom I solely communicate with through texts. Also, they get me in trouble sometimes. I'm sure everyone has read more into a text message then the sender meant and vice-versa. It makes me lazy and un-communative and doesn't bring out the holiday spirit. So because I love Christmas time I have decided to be personable and friendly so watch out. You may get more than you bargained for..........at least for a week.

Memories....in the corner of my mind

For years people have been telling me that I remind them of Elaine from Seinfeld. I can definately see that, but for the first time today I think I saw it how other people must. I was watching an episode where Jerry tells Elaine that she is the "queen of confrontation" after she confronts a man in her building for not saying hello to her anymore. I saw it. I am Elaine. I don't confront everyone, but I am good at it. Not only am I good at it but sometimes I like it. I'm just waiting for someone to really test my patience so I can release the goods from my mouth. And what better time than the Holiday season to express your frustrations. In fact, I'm thinking of celebrating Festivus this year. I'm itching to work someone over during the 'feats of strength' portion of the evening.

Continuing with my nostalga, I was looking through some old emails the other day and found a little jem that I think needs to be shared. It was a year ago this summer and I had just arrived in upstate New York to begin my first foray into child wrangling 101. And it follows........

-Schenectady (correct spelling) has been pretty interesting so far. I have some great stories to tell and it hasn't even been a week. It's just ridicurous. For one, my roomate during training decided to go on a walk yesterday and proceeded to pull a fanny pack out of her suitcase. Not just any fannypack my friends....one that must have been from Peru. It was brightly embroidered, to say the least. Then, I see her putting on head phones, you know the kind that wrap around the back of the head and over the ears......so I find myself wondering what kind of apparatus could be attached to those monstrous ear pieces? Here's the sweet stuff.....I start to hear rustling in her bag and I look over to see a collection of tapes. That's right my friends, she was rocking the walkman. And I thought to myself..."self - what better thing to have on a walk than a walkman? Brilliant". And that's when it hit me, you are NOT on the westcoast anymore girlfriend. Bravo for the girl who still has tapes.

More to come from my adventures in paradise. Hope all is well!

P.S. I learned how to do the Harlem shake last night. The eagle has landed!!!!!!
Give my love to the peeps-
Its good to remember how far you've come sometimes. Ha Ha