I Quit.....again

I have been lucky enough in my life to have been blessed with many talents that others only dream about; skipping up stairs, imitating peoples walks, remembering most of the lyrics to any song I've ever heard, attracting needy men, regurgitating entire paragraphs verbatim of information from newspaper/magazine articles and passing them off as stuff I just know and last but not least my biggest feat.....quitting. As you might guess I don't have a lot of follow through. But with age comes wisdom and the availability to check your bank account online anytime and seeing the next to nothing that you have to ration for the next 2 weeks. Thats when I decided I had to do something.
I can't recall where I was or what I was doing when it finally hit me: you have to stop quitting everything you start. Quit quitting man. First it was T-ball followed by the cello, softball, piano, every job I had until 2006 that I wasn't fired from, my first year of college....and then the next three years of school. I could go on but I generally try to avoid throwing myself into depression voluntarily. And you know what? Letting go of my addiction to quitting has been rough. I get that all too familiar knot in my stomach that leads to thoughts of being anywhere else besides my current reality. This is dangerous ground to walk when you are recovering from addiction. But there is a silver lining to this all familiar tale of struggle with will-power. I can't recall the last thing I quit. I don't know the last time I just threw up my hands, blew the hair out of my face and peaced-out. I'm not a quitter anymore. I was validated in my new found attitude change when my eldest sister congratulated me for being at a job for a year and a half stating that it must be some kind of a record. Things have been good. Until now.
I'm in DC working a job that has me picturing where I could be if I wasn't working there everyday. Sometimes I'm in Tibet meditating with monks, or I'm screeching in the Amazon as I watch the piranas devour themselves and the meat I am throwing at them like ducks. But mostly I'm at eldest sisters pool with a skanky corset-buster getting tan. I miss my family, my friends and sitting on the porch with a cheap two-stick popsicle. I've thought about quitting, I've dreamed about quitting, but I'm NOT quitting. I can do this. Does it matter that all my colleagues on the 9th floor are disgruntled and about to commit mutiny? No....and yes. I have not the strength to walk out on my own, but I do have the will power to be a sheep and follow a fearless leader. We just have to find one. Just like the dutiful citizens of Blaine I am waiting to make it to California in a couple of weeks. I just hope that on the way I will not think I smell the scent of salt from the sea and get stuck in Blaine making stools - some for selling, some for keeping.