jetsetgreen

Friday, July 18, 2008

The skin-care Olympics '08

I'm here at the beach in North Carolina soaking up the sun.  Or at least as much sun as SPF 45 allows me to soak up.  I decided two summers ago now that that would be my last summer to fully bronze myself.  Let's face it, the sun just isn't good for you in large amounts.  And I want to have firm, taught, wrinkle-less skin when I'm 50.  It can be done.  It will be done.  But not if I keep vacationing with these people.  I'm up against the impossible.  A skin type so dangerous it comes in second to Native American genes: Jewish skin.  They tan until they look dirty.  A tan sooo deep that they look like walking cadavers with their muscles exposed.  It is almost a sight to behold.  Never have I seen such tanning abilities!  If there were a tanning Olympics they would easily take first place in all the tanning events; best base tan, worst tan lines, deepest hue of red, disguising yourself as a different race, etc.  The Jamaican and Barbados teams would still be oiling up while this family easily coasted to the first place win.  A metals sweep.  


And then there is me.  Dark hair, pale skin.  I have the skin that thinks it's bacon and likes to crisp up in the sun.  Sure, I can tan a little.  But it gets to a point when it's more freckles than anything else.  And I don't keep it very well.  But I've come to terms with that.  I just will never get how I can walk into a room here with my forehead cherry red and have everyone tell me that I "got some nice color today" when at home everyone, especially my mother, would remark "oooh, you got burned today.  You need to wear sunblock.  You are going to look old and wrinkly if you keep doing that".  Tomatoe, tomato.  One of my favorite games is to put my arms next to my nephews and feel better about myself because they are practically see-through.  But here when I put my arms next to someone else's I am practically see-through.  And I will always be see-through here in Jewish skin land.  

5 comments:

Carina said...

You haven't seen Guille lately, he's practically nut brown from spending every day outside. Santi is the only one with the translucent skin.

Anonymous said...

Hey there friend. You're basically describing my life. Peter tells me I don't tan...I freckle. It's sad but very true. Just remember, you're not alone. There's a lot of us dark haired, freckled, white chicks. Hey! We should start a club!

Marge Bjork said...

I try to tell people I AM tan. I have tan lines to prove it. It's just relative.

rich said...

I am typing this and just admiring how especially dark I look compared to my iBook. Man I look good.

tara said...

I think I remember a time when you acquired a beautiful bronze tan... oh wait - no, I was thinking of somebody else.