Learning Shmerning

So...occasionally I get curious and I watch something on TV that is educational.  It usually happens on sundays because there is nothing else on anyway and hey, sometimes I like to get me educated without reading a book.  In fact, I learn so much better when I can just lay there and absorb all the colors and pictures and smart talking.  Maybe I should have done distance learning and finished my degree in 6 years, not 7.  But I was going through the channel guide and happened upon Nova - a show I feel you have to invest full attention in and so I rarely attempt it.  But I knew I had a solid hour to invest so I gave it a shot hoping it would be something crazy cool.  I was NOT disappointed.  I present:

MONSTER OF THE MILKY WAY

The story of black holes and one in particular hidden deep inside the milky way, which is the center of our galaxy FYI.  It was incredible.  I mean really incredible.  I was so into it that I realized that I had been sitting on the floor in front of the tv for 35 minutes with my mouth open.  Just wide open staring at the screen trying to fathom what a black hole is going to do to me.  I was so into it that when my madre who has a broken foot asked me to come help her hang up her dress I was incensed and muttered something about how she was making me miss vital information about our galaxy.  She didn't care.  And then finally!  They answered the question that had been burning in my brain the whole time.  What would happen if a person got too close to a black hole and was sucked in?  The force would be so great sucking you into the black hole that your body would be stretched from the top and bottom in opposite directions until you snapped in half.  And then those two halves would split and so on and so on.  In the words of one of the scientists you would be what they called "spaghetti-fied".  I prefer aldente myself.  

But you know what I really took away from this hour of education?  Not that a red dwarf implodes and becomes a supernova, no.  I learned that the reason I am not the top dog at anything really is because I have great hair.  All the top smarty-pants in the world have terrible, frizzy, dry and undyed hair.  You have to be so dedicated to your schtick  that you throw out all cares of personal appearance and no amount of energy and gases and cosmic dust could convince me to do that.  Uh-uh.  

And if you are wondering what exactly is a black hole then good luck.  Even the frizzy haired science nerds can't explain it.  But basically its an area of space that you can't see and they can't explain that sucks things in it.  Albert Einstein didn't like them because he said they were unnatural and weird.  If you really want to freak yourself and your loved ones out then click or copy and paste on this PBS link,  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/blackhole/explained.html 

Check out Gregory Benford's explanation.  Bone-chilling.