Fun shopping trip.......or Hell on earth?

Wedding registry.  Worst couple hours of my life.  I love to shop.  I mean I REALLY love to shop.  I research where all the good shopping spots are and then map out a route to maximize the shopping time before I go on a trip.  It's not a vacation unless I go shopping.  If you've ever been to Vegas with me then you know.  But I did not, I repeat did not enjoy shopping today.  

First of all you have to carry around an enormous tag gun that weighs as much as a ton of bricks and you can't even mark prices down with it.  Then you have to decide what you want in your house.  What color towels.  Who cares?  I just want a towel!  You mean I have to color coordinate the colors for my whole house?  Jimmeney cricket.   I don't even know where we will be living, let alone what size bed and from direction the morning sun will hit our house and reflect off our perfectly matched dish towels.  I just want a gift certificate - and the kitchenaid stand mixer I registered for.  

That afternoon almost killed my will to shop.  But I've got 4 inch ivory heels to purchase for December so I can't quit now.

And they called it Puppy Love...

Oh wait......I didn't tell you?

Oh yeah, I'm engaged.  Not engaged in mischievous international drug cartel kind of way, the married way.  His name is Ricky (well, that's what I call him) and he's a half-Canadian, quarter Jew with wicked music taste and legs that go all the way to......well, you know where.  We met a couple of years ago when we filled out a honeymoon survey together for our friend Hyeku and we've been friends pretty much ever since.  

 I knew he was a keeper when I called him up excitedly and asked him to guess what ridiculously expensive beautiful gift I had just gotten myself and his first guess was a L.A.M.B. bag.  And he was right.  

He lives in Arizona, I live in Utah, we live on the phone.  But soon I'll live in Arizona and together we will hunt the scorpions trying to attack us in the night. 

And the best part?  He's promised to take me to Cuba before the summer ends.  Swoon.

Bing, Bam, boom

You know I've always know that my family was jealous of me.  The siblings are a given since I am the youngest and had the easiest rules and more things given my way, but I think my parents are in on it too.  I couldn't help it if my dad gave me a cell phone for my birthday instead of the pager I asked for in high school.  

It was a BIG deal to have a phone back in '99, let me tell you - very helpful for getting digits while I was cruisin' Movies 8.  And it wasn't my decision to send-off my brother and sister on a mission about the same time so that I got sole use of the latest car during my senior year and in my defense if you saw the car you would know it wasn't THAt big of a deal.  

But now with my impending nuptials I think everyone is slowly trying to act out their own forms of revenge.  My mom decided to break her ankle in two places a couple of weeks ago.  Nice.  Now we are going to have to bedazzle her boot for the big day.  My oldest hermana went and broke her toe today.  Nice.  Who is going to cart my cake up to SLC that day?  My abuela is 96 and asks for tea every night.  Nice.  My brother and sister in law decided to fly back to Utah the night before.  Nice.  I need everyone refreshed for pictures.  

I know this isn't the last of the revenge.  Everyone better start knocking on wood because the chain-reaction of injuries is about to strike again.

And on a completely unrelated note, I am watching police academy right now as I type and has anyone ever noticed that Kim Catrall has done some pretty sweet movies?  Besides Police Academy she's been in Big Trouble in Little China and Manequin.  I would love to have that resume.

Charm school

Ok, I have a pressing question.  

Are you allowed to tell a friend their baby looks like a real-life crazy dictator?  And stop wondering if it's yours..because it might be.

Red rover, red rover send super ropes right over!

The only way to get one of these nowadays....

Is to get one of these.....

What happened to the super-ropes?  Someone please find one for me so I don't have to eat 2lbs of licorice every week.  Danke