It's not a purse, it's a European!

I was reading my Nylon magazine the other day when I came across the beauty section which I devoured as usual until I saw a new mascara.  The caption underneath it said that it was a formula that had been available in Europe for a while before we got it here stateside.  

Does this irk anyone besides me?  I'm so sick of hearing about products the ever-developed Europeans have had for years that we are just getting around to trying out.  You know, it's not really the Europeans I blame per-say but the Americans who have decided that everything has to be tested and approved before being applied to our delicate epidermis.  I want to test things out!  I want to have the choice about putting controversial wrinkle creams on my skin or not!  It is no wonder that the general public in Europe up until about 45 look fantastic.  You would almost never know if you didn't have to kiss them on each check that they all chain-smoked and drank gallons of liqueur everything month, maybe even every week....shout-out to the Spain cousins!  

And you know how they get away with this lifestyle of decadence and cheese?  They can smear or inject whatever they want on themselves.  Lucky S.O.B's.  What a life.  What a free-wheeling, bathing suits optional, get up  late, go to bed late, buy fresh baguettes everyday, ride the most organized public transportation I have ever seen, society.  And yes, after all their enlightenment and small cars they still let anyone put unidentified wax on their legs to rip the hair out.  And you want to know why?  Because it works.  They wouldn't use it if it didn't.  Who cares if you develop uneven pigment spots on your legs 15 years later.  By that time someone you know has died and you have to wear black for the rest of your life in mourning so the nylons just cover it up anyway.

If this is what Socialism gets you then sign me up.  Free botox for everyone!