jetsetgreen

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Oh my "H"

"Mother....lover".  "Son  of a .....bisquit".  Stupid piece of.....shi".  "Unbe....freakingleivable".  And my favorite, "how the haetch is this happening to me"?  



All are things either being mumbled or screamed in my apartment tonight.




My stupid mother - loving sewing machine is a piece of shat that I can't take anymore.  



Now to those who harp with the utmost virtue that substituting swear words is still bad or even worse, to those who think you just sound stupid when you substitute like-sounding words for the real ones: FU.   I would so much rather yell "you MOTHER LOVING PIECE OF PISS" while around others then use the real deal.   It is just not very lady like and to be honest I'd rather save up me swears for a truly deserving bar brawl - should it ever come along. 



I just don't know what else to say.  I'm not a sewer, I don't particularly gain any real glee from throwing something together other than the wind sock I made in Junior high because that thing truly danced in the wind.  But I decided that since I no longer have a grandma to exploit I have to do the darning and mending myself.   I pulled out the sewing machine my mom gifted me 2 years ago and I just can't do anything right.  It is dirty inside and making all the thread gray and greasy so I opened it and took it apart and cleaned it.  Verdict:  thread still dirty.  It was sewing all fine and dandy and dirty until I decided to sew an actual garment and the bottom thread keeps getting clogged.  Verdict: immovable needle due to thread tangle below.  I cleaned out the bottom thread and reset the two threads.  Verdict:  thread clogged again.




I'm at my wits end.  I know a lot of this is human error on my part but c'mon.  I gave up and walked away tonight and left everything where it was.  



And now I'm afraid to open my mouth because the only thing ready and willing to come out is fake swear words.  Humiliation.

Thus I have tried blog therapy and I'm hoping this will work or I may never sew again.  At the very least, not around children.  I just can't clean up this fake potty mouth.

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