You can do it

We were watching an episode of "This American Life" where a father was waiting for his son to get home from Iraq. And he was waiting with his wife and all sorts of other families and friends waiting for their loved ones. And that's when it hit me.

Am I going to have to do this?

I have seen scenes like this over and over on TV full of tearful reunions and even more tears of reunions that will never be. But it never hit me until the other night that my future might be just like that.

Ricky signed up for the Air Force. A decision that he pondered long and hard over and one that we fought long and hard over as well. I didn't want to have anything to do with the military and especially if it involved my husband in it. In my mind it was something necessary for our country but I wanted it to be far away from me.

But in the end when he and then subsequently me, realized what his education was going to cost we decided that no, we did NOT want to "buy" a house that we would never see. It was just too overwhelming to imagine taking on that kind of debt if we could avoid it.

So he applied and he actually got it which was an honor really because they don't give out the Air Force scholarships like candy. And it hasn't really changed our lives except for the monthly deposit which is made into our banking account to help with expenses. He doesn't have to do anything until he graduates but then we give them 3 years of our life.

With the way things are going and how they will probably continue on like this for a while it is almost guaranteed he will go somewhere (even though everyone assures us the Air Force has it better than everyone else).

Am I going to be waiting for a bus one day holding balloons and a welcome home sign?

I don't want to.

I hear you

I've been sooooo busy. So busy that I tend to get lost in thought and not listen to anyone else. I realized this about 2 weeks ago when I was sitting on the couch next to Ricky who was telling me something pretty interesting involving some process in the human body and I had this moment where I just looked at him and saw his mouth moving but I had no idea what he was saying.

I had no idea what he was saying.

And then again today as we were walking into the apt after church he was saying something to me but it was like a movie where I'm inside my own head and everything else is silent.

I've just been thinking too much lately - and not about myself which is a bummer. I have A LOT of people to think about right now. A Lot of people with bigger problems than I have.

But I feel bad because I just haven't been listening.

So I pledge here to listen better to Ricky tell me all about the vomiting reflex. Or to you and your bad dog/day/job or stupid sister/brother and how they didn't buy you a present off your approved Christmas list.

And if you come and talk to me in person I promise to make you a treat and I'll even sweep the floor before you come over. Just wear your rain boots because you CANNOT believe how much it rains now.

Everyday. That's how much it rains.

Everyday.

If the Chemistry's correct

I was coming home from work yesterday and I decided to stop at the bakery to pick up a fresh walnut baguette to go with dinner.

After I bought my small baguette I left the bakery and walked to the street light and waited for my turn to cross. In the mean time another women left the bakery, grabbed her two dogs that were waiting outside and she joined me at the stop light.

And then she turned to me and said "are you a chemist?"

"Excuse me?" I asked not sure that I had heard her right.

"Are you a chemist?" she asked again.

"No, I am not" I replied, almost laughing.

"Have you taken any chemistry classes?" she asked.

"Um....yeah. In high school" I said with a chuckle.

"Oh, I guess that won't help me" she said. "I want to take a chemistry class and I don't know if I'm going to take the right one or if I can handle it or what".

"Yup, sorry. I cannot help you there".

And with that we both proceeded to cross the street and go our separate ways. Of all the things people on the street have said to me that was by far the most interesting. I guess I'm kind of flattered that she thought I might be a chemist. After all, I am very good at producing... reactions.

Blah

I got nothin.

Except for the fact that I have tomorrow off for Veteran's day. I love getting bank holidays.

Boo-yeah.

Hair today, Gone tomorrow

I was engrossed in typing something on the computer yesterday and suddenly my ears tuned back into reality and I heard The Cure playing. It just snuck up on me and I did NOT like it. I don't think The Cure is a good band for playing out of nowhere when you are not expecting it. It is the kind of thing you play conscientiously - at least I do. We should surprise the Taliban by blasting The Cure out of nowhere and maybe they will surrender like Noriega. But luckily a song of theirs did come on that I actually like and I cooked dinner to it.

I made lemonade people, lemonade.

I also don't like it when male pattern baldness sneaks up on me. Well, not really to me but to those around me. From where I am perched everyday at work I see people coming in and out of the office next door all day. LOT'S of people. Lot's of young males and a couple hot females (real estate, go figure). And my co-worker has a thing for one of the guys next door. And today when I saw him leave the office I saw it...

BAM! Maybe a little baldness. Or maybe it's too much hair gel forming un-normal separation? I'm torn. Do I tell her?