And speaking of avoiding...I had a truly horrific experience sat. morning that must be written once and never spoken of again. I left campus after a final at the ungodly hour of 7am (so I went at 8, whatever) and was driving to Macy's when I passed Provo High and saw a large tent swarming with bodies in the parking lot. It looked like a massive beehive alive with workers buzzing to and fro doing their individual duties rummaging and collecting for the queen bee. Only the queen bee here was not a fellow bee but the modesty queens of Shade clothing. They were having a tent sale benefit for Provo high. I passed by in disgust of the hordes of women I could see from across the street flinging clothes everywhere. But in the end curiosity got the best of me and on the way home I went over to see what all the fuss was about.
Bad idea. I entered the throng centered under the tent and was immediately confronted with limbs everywhere. In my face, over my eyes, behind my head. All grabbing madly at the modesty makers. I could barely see through the rain of shirts and body suits being thrown all around me. Some in and out of boxes, others from hand to hand. I peeked, I lifted, I even stuck my hand to the bottom of a box before I realized something. "This stuff is too modest for me" I decided. WAY to modest. I don't need a tank top that covers my collarbones. In fact, the decolletage is my favorite part of the female body - let it breathe. I hate all the semi-cap sleeve, high-neck, almost long enough undershirts. Tip: If you can see your undershirt poking out from under the shirt, through the top of the sleeve, around the armpit and above the neck line then you should probably not get it. It doesn't work for you and that's OK. There are plenty of shirts out there that will work and will only expose perhaps one peek of your shade shirt.
I found two long-sleeved shirts I liked and pushed out to the purchase lines. I'll tell you, this was the first time in my adult life that I really and truly almost justified stealing. There were three lines so long I thought I saw an oasis next to the cash registers in the hot morning sun. But I know better than to fall for illusions. So I got in line and waited, and waited, and waited and suffered and waited some more. Not only was in line for 50 minutes in an asphalt parking lot, but I was surrounded by clusters of women with goliath sized strollers putting on and ripping off BAGS of clothing they had gathered. And the conversation........rough. I was desperate to drown them out. Ipod!!! I have my ipod with me! Crap. No earphones. I was getting hot and slightly sticky and my eyes started to twitch as I clutched my two shirts and began rocking back and forth speaking softly to myself.."me wants it....give us it".
Redemption! My phone with the fm radio. I don't use it often, but it is a life saver. I popped those earbuds in and let myself be taken away by some easy listening and adult contemporary as I slowly shuffled along with the masses. This story could have so many metaphors. Perhaps I can work it into a talk one day. I'll share the experience and liken it to the world always out for material possessions and how you need to persevere to find the "good stuff" in all the madness. And just when you think you are in the clear you face more challenges, but if you just tune out the world then you will be rewarded in the end. Poetic. And relatable. Damn I'm good.
4 comments:
Maybe the moral of the story should be, Don't bother wearing modest clothing. That would be appropriate for a church-talk analogy.
Ah, so that's when you wrote your blog... while I was cleaning. I agree with Tara, someone needs to rock the boat at the pulpit about modesty. I would look right in the Bishop's wife's face and say "Ya, there is such a thing as being too modest... bite me".
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Did you see your buddy Darise there? She was probably one of the people throwing elbows. I laugh when I hear people calling shade shirts modest. Sure they cover up but when I can count your ribs and easily tell you what cup size you are, it's probably too tight. I realize they're probably supposed to be worn under something but the word isn't getting out...
Tell me about it Sam, seems all these shade shirts are going to need awnings pretty soon.
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