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I'm living in Houston the entire month of July.  Which as anyone whose ever been here knows is the best month to come.  Everything in Houston during the month of July is in it's peak.  The humidity is at an all time high, the heat has almost reached its pinnacle and the smell of the freeway next to use is ripe for the pickin.  Mmmm....  But if I'm being honest with myself and my sister who reads this - it isn't that bad.  I mean, how bad can a place be if there is a church across the street that draws a crowd of 10,000 people every Sunday?  Would 10,000 people trek across the great state of Texas and who knows where else to sit in a crap hole on Sunday?  No, I think not (unless they live in Jersey because the whole thing is basically a crap hole).  

I know what you're thinking.  What is this church that draws mega-crowds?  Oh, you know it.  You've all seen it on TV.  You've all seen it and all wondered what was going on.  And you will all fighting back the rage blackouts from being sooo jealous after I show you this:

 

That's right.  It IS him.  Joel Osteen - or as one person on the internet put it, the caucasian pastor on BET.   Pastor of the Lakewood Church right across the street from my renaissance Marriott.  How can I hate a place that has given me the gift of a televangelist right next door?  I can't and neither can you.  But we can both hope for a photo opportunity and maybe a healing or two.  Turns out his wife speaks also.  Bum deal for her.  I always thought I would be so mad if I married someone who changed careers halfway through marriage or invested all our savings in some miracle fruit or work from home kit.  But this worse.  You marry a man who loves you and God and then suddenly you have to speak in front of thousands and shellac your hair with spray and wear stage makeup all the time.  Stage makeup all the time?  That spells d-i-v-o-r-c-e right there.  But at least loving God in this instance pays.  

I bet it even comes with Dental.