Concrete

All of a sudden my bed has turned into a slab of hard cement. Seemingly overnight I have begun to wake up with sore apendages. If this is some sort of Princess and the Pea scenario then yes, I can feel the anvil you have placed under my box spring. I wake up feeling like I have slept on a hard floor all night. You know that feeling as well I'm assuming. Every point that was in contact with the surface is aching and sore and you wonder if someone was beating you with a canoe paddle all night in your sleep.

I hate to say this all started the day I officially entered my third trimester because it didn't - it happened two days before. I'm hoping this is just temporary and not what I have to look forward to for the next 2 1/2 months. It's like the day toddlers turn 2 and flip some sort of switch and start smearing things on all your walls. My switch has been flipped. I have ordered a new mattress topper to see if that will alleviate the pain a little.

Because to me there is no greater injustice than waking up before your alarm goes off. Those are minutes I'd like to spend deep in slumber and not being pissed off that I am awake.

Until then here I am just a little bit crabby.

Missing you

I have the distinct pleasure of getting to taste most of my food twice. Its a good thing that I'm a good cook because otherwise the pleasure would be all gone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not regurgitating anything - just little hiccups here and there after eating. Not like my next door neighbor last night who was in the process of evacuating the contents of his stomache into his commode which I could very clearly hear through our paper thin walls. And the weird part was that I should have been grossed out. I've never been able to handle that sort of thing well but I just stood there...listening. And I had no one to share it with. Yes, its disgusting and who would want to share in that experience with me? Ricky. And he's not here.

And he won't be here for weeks. And weeks. All in all 3 months. And I miss him.

And since he's been gone I have realized how much my world revolved around him. Taking care of him, spending time with him, just being in the same room as him. And now I only have myself to take care of. Sometimes I cook, sometimes I don't because I don't have anyone else to take care of.

The first Saturday he was gone I kept myself busy for about 5 hours and then as I was sitting on the couch later that night I thought to myself "3 months of this?"

So I'm working on getting a hobby and socializing more. Honestly my focus is more on a hobby right now because I'm kind of a home-body. But I'm going to try and get out more. The big news is I'm in the market for a new sewing machine. I want something electronic that makes great button holes (according to my mother). If you have any advice or seem to preferance one brand over another please let me know. Who knows, maybe when Ricky comes back in 3 months I will have sewed up a storm! He can have his own puffy shirt to wear on rotations.

Into it

I decided to embrace being pregnant today. I have a stomach that sticks straight out like a bullet, my belly button shows through everything and people stare. And that's ok.

I should be enjoying this instead of trying to pretend like it's not happening. I can still be cute - I might actually have better fashion going on right now than ever before. Besides, when can I enjoy being pregnant while sitting on the couch without screaming kids?

And I can't help but smile every time I feel a kick. I love to watch my skin get stretched around by the baby moving. I'm so in awe of it that I often grab whoevers hand is close by and make them feel it too.

These days I've got more of a smile than a panicked look. Besides, now that my stomach is so big my butt looks a lot smaller... Amazing.

Don't throw the baby out

I avoid the couch unless Ricky is home. And since he has been gone during the week and home on weekends only for the past 3 weeks I have spent a lot of time sitting at the kitchen table. I just can't deal with the soft cushions. They suck me in and then what can I say? I just can't get up. There is a disconnect between my brain synapses and my legs and they can't work in tandem when confronted with the almighty couch.

I am so in over my head. So far in this pregnancy I have tried to mostly avoid thinking about it. I kind of pretend like it's not happening until I do something like piddle on myself accidentally like I did two weeks ago and then it is suddenly VERY apparent that I am indeed pregnant.

I went to LA a few weeks ago for a friends wedding and got to have a mini-baby shower for myself and another good friend with our friends that live there. And my friend who is also pregnant was a fountain of baby product knowledge. She has researched everything that could possibly be related to babies. Seriously, you should hear her - impressive. And I did listen. I listened to her and our friend who is already a mother discuss the virtues of various strollers and other things and that's when my heart sank.

I have no idea about any of this stuff.

Sure, I've been around kids a lot. I nannied for my nephews every other day. I know babies. I know how to work a stroller. That's the problem. I know how to work a stroller - not anything about what kind of stroller I want. There are too many. And this goes for all baby products.

I just can't do it. First, I don't want a lot of stuff. Second, I don't want to spend time and money trying to figure all of this out.

What happened to just keeping the baby in a basket all of the time?

Picture Message

So I guess I'll have to remember this from now on:

And Ricky will have to remember this:

You need a vacation!!

I'm putting out an APB.

Have you ever wanted to vacation in the great Northwest? Do you dream of summiting the Space Needle or Mount Rainier?

Do you just want to get away from your everyday life? No dishes, laundry and mail runs to be responsible for?

Maybe you want to take a personal sabbatical for 3 months. Maybe you are interested in doing an internship in Seattle? Or maybe, just maybe you are a social worker let's say and are interested in taking a contract somewhere new for a couple of months.....ahem Stasy.

Well come stay at my house!!!

I currently have a roomate, my mate for life Ricky. But....he's leaving me for 3 months to pursue his career dreams. And I've encouraged him. A small sacrifice for now that will benefit our family greatly one day.

There is only one problem - I will be lonely. Do you want me to be lonely? I didn't think so.

Besides, you can have your own bedroom with it's very own en-suite bathroom. Fancy! I'll be your very own bed and dinner! I can't do breakfast since I'm usually running out the door to work and I won't make you lunch because I'll be at work. But I'll probably make you dinner which I'm really good at. Come for 2 months or come for 3 days, whatever.

And if that still hasn't wet your whistle then let me tell you this: you don't need a car. That's right! Take a 2 minute walk down my street to the light rail station and 20 minutes north you are in the heart of downtown, 30 minutes south and they drop you off right at the airport. And I'm not trying to brag and all but every Wednesday from May-October there is a farmers market half a block away full of the most delicious food. Thats where I do my grocery shopping. You should taste the tomatoes....oh the delight.

My neighborhood is cute. Just like me.

So come one, come all July through September! Seriously, he'll be gone the entire time. Don't make me get a dog because I really don't want one.

And this message isn't for your brother's cousin. I'd like to know you if we are going to live together.

Can't you just picture yourself here?

I scream, you scream

I accomplished something very great. I'm really, really proud of myself. Sometimes when I put my mind to something there is just no stopping me.

On the evening of Feb. 1 I started watching Ground Hogs Day and on the evening of Feb. 2 (the actual ground hogs day) I finished the movie.

I'm practically bursting with pride.

I always thought I hated that movie. I was sure that I hated that movie but I didn't really know because I had never made it through the entire movie - I always fell asleep. The same thing over and over? Yawn.

But I knew I should give it another chance because I love Bill Murray. How could he do something bad?

And I was wrong, it's actually pretty funny. At least Bill Murray is funny in it. I hated Andy McDowell in it though. She was bringing some pretty terrible acting to the table there. Actually, she mights always be like that.

I think it was just one of those things that is better now that I'm older, like brussel sprouts. Who knew?

Something else I accomplished this week? Eating an ice cream cone the size of a small baby. I think it weighed 5 lbs. The guy working there gave me a cup and a spoon just in case - even though I assured him that I wouldn't need it. And I didn't. What is even more impressive is that I finished the whole thing off before my friend had even hit the middle of her once scoop.

Proof:

Giving myself a big pat on the back for this week.

BTW, I haven't been to Baskin Robbins since high school probably and let me tell you, it was good! I'm as surprised as you.

HAIR! The horror continues...

I'm going to Europe in May - wahoo! It's been too long and I'm itching to set myself free, european style, again (let your imagination run wild with that). It's just about all I can think about right now. I have already planned out most of my wardrobe - no joke. And because it's just about all I think about it tends to be something I talk about a lot with Ricky. So it came up yesterday and went a little something like this:

Me: Ricky, I think I need to get a brazilian blow-out before going to Europe.

R: I was just thinking about that today too!

Me: No you were not.

R: Seriously, I was! I thought about it on the way home today in the car.

Me: NO you didn't. Are you serious?

R: Totally! I was thinking about how you should get one!

Me: Tell me your train of thought to PROVE to me that you thought of my hair on the way home.

R: OK. I thought, "I wonder if I can get that new camera I've been wanting before Laquina goes to Europe. Think of all the cool pictures she could take......WAIT - HOW WOULD SHE DO HER HAIR?

Me: Yeah, I'm worried about that too. It could be a disaster.

R: You should get one.

Me: Yup, I think it's my only option.

Aaaaannnd Scene.

See? My hair is as bad as I said it was. My husband worries about it when he is driving by himself in the car.

While in Italy I want to go here. Dreamy.

Game night

Ricky and I have this little game we like to play. It's called, "I could have hair like that!".

The rules are very simple. Watch any late 70's to early 90's movie and find the girl with the best curly hair-do and voila! "I could have that hair!" has begun. The bigger and frizzier the bangs the better. Really. Because I could actually have that hair.

The game was birthed out of my hatred for my natural hair texture: curly. Not nice beachy waves and not beautiful ringlets - a mixture born straight out of Kenny G being electrocuted for just the tinsiest bit of time. Basically, think Capt. Hook (in any of his incarnations) and you've got it! Seriously, I was him once for Halloween and it was spot on. Spot. On. I wish I knew where one of those pictures was just to prove it. Anyone, anyone?

From an early age I remember trying to steal my older sisters hair products to experiment with what to do with my hair. She had nice curls from using Dep hair gel and Aussie mousse, shouldn't I? Nope. I've never gotten it right. To this day I refuse to be seen in public with my natural hair al fresco. Just ask Ricky, he hates it as much as I do. He'll tell you!

But without further ado, some pictures from the "I could have that hair!" game:

I could have this...

And these...

See? Isn't this fun?
I could have all of these!!

I was born at the wrong time we decided while watching Top Gun the other night. Why couldn't I have weathered my 20's during the 80's? I would have fit right in.

I also would have made a great sidekick.

New Year

No one reads this anymore.

Good. Check that off my New Years resolution list: get rid of everyone.

I made a lot of resolutions this year - more than normal. So many that I had to categorize them.

Before I list them off I want you to know that I really love resolutions. It seems that most people hate making them, mostly because they have no follow-through. And also because it seems that often times people want to over-achieve when they make a goal for themselves. There's something to be said for "baby steps". Why set yourself up for failure? I like to create goals that I actually want to do. That still require some effort but that won't peter out after a month because its too much of a struggle. Whenever I tell people my goals they say "but those are things you can actually do". Isn't that the point?

Lot's of people know this about me but I make resolutions for myself year-round. I like to divide my year into three's. A winter, summer and fall with a goal for each. And I usually come up with a theme for each. A little invisible banner that I fly in my head for 3-6 months. It works for me. Gives me something to look forward to.

I don't have a theme for this trimester but I do have a number of goals. Also, I have to admit that I did not do very well on my New Years goal from last year: to squeeze my butt more when I walked. I did it for a while but in the end I forgot more than I remembered. It kind of fell into the dark hole where my kegel excercises reside. Oh well, maybe I'll revisit that this summer and declare it "the summer of the squeeze!". Who's with me? They say you are more likely to accomplish your goals if you have someone to check up on you.

Without further ado.... 2011 Resolutions

Personal: read the book before I see the movie
Marriage: clean the kitchen before bed (update: not so hot on this one. Maybe it should be to get a maid?).
Work: Take care of all the red flags in my email the same day I flag them / Get a raise.
Church: Play the piano in YW's and stop whining to Ricky.
In general: Travel as much as possible.


That's all for now but I think I have some more hiding somewhere. I'll let you know when I figure them out.

I tell you what though, I'm already looking forward to "summer of the squeeze".

She blinded me with SCIENCE!!

Remember this?

Alrighty, time to dust off my deep thinking and analytical skills.

Ask question:

Can I continue to eat healthy, balanced meals during my period?

Do background research:

My eating habits from the last 3 weeks have been good and I have stocked my fridge full of veggies and grains.

Construct hypothesis:

Yes, when conscientiously watching what types of food I eat and when, I can continue to eat healthy, balanced meals during my period.

Test with an experiment:

Started Wed. morning off with sugar-free hot chocolate for breakfast. Did not snack before lunch. Ate a healthy lunch of brown rich sauteed with colorful vegetables. Saw chocolate covered Oreos in the fridge. Ate one. 2:30 pm traveled to the coffee spot downstairs to get a deliciously thick 65% cocoa hot chocolate - full sugar. Dinner was a healthy and balanced green salad. Picked up 4 different kinds of ice cream on the way home (not including the samples made to determine which 4 flavors). Sampled all 4 flavors once at home on couch.

Analyze results and Draw Conclusion:

Good intentions were definitely there for the day's menu but will power was not. Gave in to enormous hormonal cravings and feeling of wanting to add extra padding to body. Conclusion: I need chocolate every 4 weeks or I'll torture everyone around me and be immensely unhappy.

Hypothesis is False.

Think! Try again:

Thursday morning had tea for breakfast. Good start. Remembered the butterfingers in my desk and ate one. Had healthy salad for lunch and then proceeded to the chocolate covered oreos and ate one. Don't remember much about dinner but I do remember the candy canes, peppermints, the entire small tin of cinnamon altoids I consumed like candy and hot chocolate.

Report Results:

Negative. Hypothesis is absolutely 100% false.



See? It's scientifically impossible to eat healthy food once a month.

Everytime

I was driving to an activity tonight listening to the radio when I realized that I had been singing "my cherie amor" by Stevi Wonder at the top of my lungs over the NPR that was blasting. How long had I been doing it? I don't know. Why didn't I just turn down the volume on NPR? I have no idea. I had kind of a rough day. But after I did realize what was happening I worked very hard on my vibrato.

I got into an argument with my boss this morning. A real argument. In which he told me he did not want to argue and I walked out - and tried not to cry which is what happens when I get really angry. It felt just like being 16 again.

Speaking of Dads... I had a great moment with Ricky's Dad during our Christmas stay up in Canada. I found out something very crucial about the Great White North. Canada doesn't take out anything from movies that get played on tv. Case in point: I was watching 16 candles in the family room with Richard. Most of you have probably only seen this movie on tv but let me tell you, it's full of stuff they cut out. And I know this - but there is one part that always sneaks up on me. So Richard gets up to get something and leaves the room. His Dad walks in to see what we are watching just as the sneaky scene comes on. Picture it: Dad walks in and a close-up shot of boobs appears on the screen. Yeah. That happened to me. You can tell your friends. And BTW, when they show that part the sound on the movie makes a big "boing" noise for effect.

Of course he walks in right then. Don't parents just have the knack for walking in at the worst parts? I thought I was past that!! But I can't wait to do that to my kids! And yes, if you are wondering my father-in-law freaked a little and ran out. But to be fair later on we were watching the mini-series "Pacific" and a man's junk popped up on screen.

I think that's what you call even-stephens.

FYI and FYE: Ricky has a new blog going on that you can check out here. He is now a .com!