TKO

Sometimes I have a minute to catch my breath before heading into my bowling class so I stop to peruse the boards in the bottom of the Wilkinson center to see what's for sale.  There is always something entertaining being sold or an amazing deal to make thousands from home if you just call the magic phone number below!  Usually I just like to count how many wedding dresses are for sale and if maybe Steve* dropped the price of the tungsten rings he's hawking.  But one index card in particular caught my eye this last time.  It had something else glued onto it so I stepped in to take a closer look and saw this:

I was immediately filled with questions.  Was his DNA pre-mixed into the ink before he or someone else signed it?  Is his DNA just carelessly strewn across the photo?  Did he kiss or lick it?  How do they know?  And if in fact it does have his DNA then why are they selling it??  If I were in dire straights I would sell off my plasma, my anatomy posters - wait, learning is more important I take that back, some of Jenapers clothes, abuela's emergency button notification system, and jewelry that people have gifted me before I would sell my DNA laced Muhammad Ali poster.  I mean, how often do you get a piece of such a legend?  It's not like everyone in America can have a grilling machine with his name on it in their homes/apartments/trailers **Ahem, ahem George Foreman**.  And please, don't call the number on the above advertisement to scold them for their reckless abandonment.  But do call and put in an offer.