the next 50 miles. I hate rotating the driving and not being able to sleep if you are in the front seat. I just hate them - so I took one this weekend. I didn't want to. Faced with a 10 hr road trip or sitting on my couch watching Talk Soup the answer is always sitting on my couch. But I went anyways and it ended up not being so bad. Mainly because on the way home we decided to stop and see one of the natural wonders of the world: The Grand Canyon. Neither of us had ever seen it. There was only one small problem; I suffer from debilitating vertigo. In math terms, Grand Canyon+Vertigo=tossing my cookies. Only I didn't really throw-up, I just wanted to. The only thing worse than having vertigo at the Grand Canyon is being there with someone who doesn't understand it...at all. My vertigo is not quite at the level of Lucille Two who can't walk down a hallway straight, its more like I get dizzy and disoriented when being around sheer drop-offs. There we were at a giant look-out over the majestic canyon and I was slinking down the middle of the walkway practically crawling toward the edge. Only I never made it to the edge. I felt nauseous and dizzy and had to sit down on the rocks. 
Ricky was not sympathetic. "Come on, come to the edge" he coaxed. "No thanks. I can't" I tried. "Oh come on, you can't see how deep it is" he pleaded pulling my arm in the direction of the edge. "I know we are really high up" I said panicking. "Come ON" he forced, dragging me from the center. "Stop, stop, STOP" I nearly screamed, "I'm fine here and if I'm going to do it I need to do it alone" I assured. It seemed like EVERYONE was looking over the edge around me. Young, old, really old, Japanese, Lesbians...everyone except me. I decided to try and be brave by inching along along the rock step I was sitting on while trying to peer over the edge but I just couldn't. Unless you suffer from vertigo you never quite understand the phobia. Ricky sure didn't. He spent the whole trip peering over edges and trying to pull me to my death.
Does anyone else have a debilitating phobia or is it just me?
*Ok, the pics are actually from the Glen Canyone Dam but it was really high too and I didn't have the Grand Canyon pics on my phone.
9 comments:
Wimp.
I totally understand! I'm the same way. I can't even look over the edge in that artsy building on campus. And that's only 3 floors.
gosh, if lesbians can do it, you should be able to do it too.
Did you know you come by this phobia honestly? Mom has really bad vertigo and a-parent-ly passed it on down the line. I'm the same way. Heights are cool, great. The Moon? I'd love to go and look at earth. Airplanes? Fantastic,I'd take a trip tomorrow. A drop off? There is a rush of stinging chemical or electrical force that whooshes through me, freezing me in place. Limbs get heavy, dull, and slow. The heart speeds and is interspersed with occasional seeming arhythmic hard thuds. I know this fear you speak of...for it is my own.
Mountains and cliffs, no. But buildings, open staircases? YES.
My knees kind of go to jelly and the world feels like it's dropping away from underneath me.
Cheerful, isn't it?
I have a similar story, but it was on the suspension bridge in Canada. My family teased me while I almost lost my mind. Mind you, it is a wobbly bridge that is higher than some parts of the Grand Canyon and all sorts of people are walking on it. I could have been bowled over and died.
p.s. I think I just visited your dad's blog.
I have only one thing to say:
My arms keep missing you, who's been kissing you? Since you were away. My arms keep missing you, I've been wishing you... come back today.
My arms... my arms... my arms... my arms
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