jetsetgreen

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Something stinks....stinks real bad

Ahhhh the Olympics.  I F&*$&#@ love the Olympics!  I am glued to my TV every night from about 7 pm to midnight or 1 am depending upon when they end.  I cannot get enough.  There is something about all the international blood, sweat and tears mixing together to make some crazy competition that really gets my goat.  But I gotta put something out there.  I've never been one for conspiracy theories.  Yes, we landed on the moon.  Elvis  and Tupac are both dead.  No, I don't think the government is hiding Aliens and even if they are then thanks, because I'd rather not know about it.  But something is amuck with the gymnastics competition.  I can't quite put my finger on it - oh wait, yes I can.  The Chinese are cheating.  I am convinced.  Stupid cheating commies.  Everyone with even one good eye can tell half the women's gymnastics team is underage.  You have to be at least 16 to compete in the Olympics for gymnastics and half the girls look about 12, maybe.  But of course they have their passports so no one can prove anything.  To give you an idea it's about 70 lbs to 103 lbs per girl respectively for China and then everyone else.  Yes, Asians are petite, but so are gymnasts!  And don't get me started on the scoring, some one has been bought at the judges table.  I just know it.  And then there is the time difference!  What is the deal with such a huge time difference?  I know the Chinese did that on purpose too!  But I have to say I do feel bad for the some of the Chinese gymnasts.  They were taken at 3 years old to live in dorms and train for the Olympics.  What kind of a life is that?  What are they going to do when they can't compete anymore?  What would their resume include?  Perhaps something like this:


Ni-how-ma,
I'm a hard worker who doesn't form personal attachments to people which helps in this cutthroat job market.  I don't mind frequent travel or relocating if the job requires it.  I rarely ever take holiday breaks because I don't really know my family anyway, I'd rather keep working for the glory of my country.  I work extremely well under pressure and enjoy my superiors breathing over my shoulder.  I am super flexible and have contracts stating that I will not get injured at anytime, ever.  I enjoy applying brightly colored makeup and seeing just how many metal clips I can fit on my head around my scrunchy.  I can pass for any age that my new employer deems ideal and forget about maternity leave or only having one child.  After all that training I probably won't be able to reproduce anyway.  In short, I think I would be the perfect asset to your company because I am a robot, plain and simple.  


She-she, 
 Your favorite gymnast.

3 comments:

tara said...

You are totally mistaken. The Chinese never cheat, ever. Those girls are old enough, because documents don't lie. And you should know that Communism breeds honesty and integrity. All this hating on the Chinese! Next thing you know they will be bugging their hotel rooms and taxi cabs because of finger-pointing people like you. Poor innocent Chinese! All they ever wanted was to pour billions of dollars into their image instead of feeding their starving people.

Kelli Radmall said...

I totally agree. I feel bad for those girls and the judging on the vault last night was totally rigged. Bella was pissed! They also jipped the little girl who can sing because she wasn't "cute" enough and had a cuter stand in lip synching. Geez. What is wrong with some people?!

Momoko Photography said...

The clips! The f@#$%%$# clips!