True love is what brings us together....today

I discovered a new kind of love today: all-weather love.  I was fighting my way through the bitter morning cold on my way to class today when I noticed a couple in front of me holding hands, with no gloves.  NO GLOVES!!!  I could hardly believe my eyes or my cold cashmere-lined leather gloved fingers!  So I began to survey the land and noticed a few more couples braving the cold just to let their digits become one with each other.  "This must really be love" I thought to myself.  What else could it be?  No one who just liked or greatly esteemed or even 'loved spending time with' someone else would sacrifice the warmth of their hand to be closer to that person.  After all, you lose most of your body heat through your feet, head and hands.  It's not like two hands together will heat up automatically.  Two cold hands together are just two cold hands together.  A gesture like this should have left me touched and awed, but all it left me was incredulous.  There is no way.....no way I would do that.  No matter how much I liked someone or their fingers.  It's too cold!  Why not just walk closely together and at least benefit from some body heat or more surface area to be able to walk steadily through the heavy wind?  To these people I say, are we not human?  If we are exposed to cold do we not chill?  It is not me who is crazy, but you - for I have seen the mark of frost bite and it is not pretty.

Adult Education

I've been "tagged".  No, no one has snuck up on me in the middle of the night to spray-paint me with their creative gangsta name.  I have inevitably been hit with the blogging phenomenon they call "tagging" which means I have to answer a list of questions given to me that will enlighten the 5-7 (depending on the day) people who read my blog.  Basically its a chain letter masquerading as something fun. {Now let me pause: Dear Darise, Never mind my introduction.  I am in fact glad you tagged me because I never pass up a good chance to inform more people about the small idiosyncrasies that I am made up of.  So thank you.}  Ok.  I took one look at the questions offered and decided they were not for me.  I usually never take recommendations that seriously, hence the large scar on my right shin where I went for jumping between the large boulders instead of the recommended walking around.  So I have decided to make my own lists.  

SMELLS I HATE: Bowling alleys, libraries, weed, fingers after handling money and tar.

SMELLS I LIKE: Cinnamon, mens cologne most of the time (and yes, I do still like Hugo so shut-up), gasoline, rubber cement, onions cooking and curry.

THINGS THAT MAKE MY HEAD SPIN: Quantum physics, the space-time continuum, math, people who can't smell an MLM from a mile away, why people insist on wearing denim on denim and the show "momma's house".

5 THINGS YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ME: 1-I've probably been mad at all of you at LEAST once without you knowing it 2-I flex in the mirror more than you would think 3-I congratulate myself out-loud on a job well done 4-I rarely remember names, but always what a person was wearing 5-I've lost most of my shame as evidenced by most of my actions on a daily basis.

THINGS I DO WHEN I'M ALONE.....ALL ALONE: Pick my nose, sit-ups, more flexing in the mirror.....

I CAN'T LET GO OF: chips and salsa.

I HAVE OVERWHELMING URGES TO: punch someone in the face, buy a one way plane ticket somewhere - anywhere, snap at a stranger just because, slap everyone's backside, buy more and more jeans, scratch during movies and be on TV.

GIFTS I WOULD ACTUALLY LIKE: A gift-card to the RIGHT store, a cheesecake, movies I talk about all the time, a plane tickets, anything L.A.M.B., The Golden Girls DVDs and no one bothering me for a whole day. 

WHAT I THINK IS MOST IMPORTANT: loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.

VICES: Candy canes, charleston chews, pork chops, clothes, shoes, and people - I will ditch most anything to hang-out with those I love.

I GET NERVOUS...: on the first day of a new job, when approaching the airport before flying, around a crush, holding my purse in large crowds, having my arms and/or legs pinned down, when people run up the stairs behind me and walking past 15 yr olds with automatic weapons in third world countries.  

Hope you enjoyed it. I fully expect some comments so go ahead, hit me.

Matthew 6

It seems the world has been losing some good people lately what with my mothers BF Miriam and Heath Ledger.  In these times of sorrow who doesn't need a few more prayers?  I know I do.  So in our time of need (it's sooo cold) -  and because I have been thinking a lot about bread for some reason - the Lord's prayer has been stuck in my head (well, just the first part because I don't really know it - I looked it up because just because I rock La Virgin up above doesn't mean I know what I'm talking about).  So here it is in case you can't remember:

Give us this day our daily bread ( or pineapple turn-over on the right)

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation (Marc Jacobs), but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.

Amen. 

Keeping Score

See this guy?  Take a good long look at him.  Take in the ultra side-parted hair and high school t-shirt.  Just imagine the metallic braces hiding behind that innocent smile.  Picture him face-planting on the lane while bowling under the name "Lord Bane".  This naive, sweet boy was the target of a cruel, cruel joke - perpetrated by none other than me.  See, there are a number of sweet awkward freshmen in my bowling class that I have befriended.  I love them, plain and simple.  I remember when I was a freshmen and the upperclassmen took me under their wings and now I'm just trying to repay the favor.  It was Thursday and we were being given a lesson on how to maximize our bowling game by spiffing-up our shoe rentals.  We were presented with small wirey brushes to scrape the bottom of our shoes with to remove excess gunk before lightly dusting them with sawdust to help us glide down the wooden planks.  Naturally everyone began to inspect the bottom of their shoes to see just how gross they were.  The verdict: pretty gross.  Suddenly I had a great idea!  I approached Lord Bane and offered him a dollar to lick the bottom of his bowling shoes.  He was a little hesitant, but I could tell he was thinking about it.  "Show me the dollar" Lord Bane insisted.  I went to my wallet and pulled out a not-so crisp dollar bill and went back.  "Here you go" I said as I snapped the dollar back and forth in front of him.  "Mmmmm" I said as I sniffed the dollar, "this smells like a nice snack for your enjoyment while bowling" I pushed.  He looked, he pondered, he paused, he LICKED THE BOTTOM OF HIS BOWLING SHOES!!!!  "That was AWESOME!" I assured him as I dutifully placed the dollar in front of him.  And instead of laughing with me all the other bowling buddies began to chastise me.  WTF!!!  Who, when in the same situation, wouldn't have done the exact same thing as me?  Am I the only one left who likes to offer money to do stupid things?  "That was really mean" my other freshmen said.  "What do you mean?" I asked.  "No one forced him to do it.  I gave him the money" I said defending myself.  And sure enough, everyone else I have told has had nearly the same reaction.  Is it because I'm a girl?  Is there a double-standard for gross bets too?  I'm sick of this.  What's next?  Being looked down on for wearing old spice deodorant?   

It's recruitment time

So...I was sitting in the Clyde Building again minding my own business doing some online HEPE and I see this guy out of the corner of my eye making his way down the long table with some flyers.  When he finally got to me at the end of the table I saw a flyer slide across the table right next to me so I looked up.  He began to talk and point in the direction behind me.  I just sat there watching his mouth moving and finger wagging.  I don't think it occurred to him that I couldn't hear a word he was saying.  I had my head phones in and was blasting a little Pretenders "brass in pocket" as he was so dutifully informing me about... something.  It was so surreal just watching him mouth along to the song - but not really.  So I just smiled and kept watching him go on and on.  Finally when he smiled and walked away I actually looked at the flyer and saw this:

A way to accelerate my leadership with the help of ETSC (engineering and technology student council)!  Finally!  I had just hit my leadership plateau and was looking for a way to shake things up.  But then I looked closer and realized that I know the man in the photo.  We went to high school together.  He is 'juggling guy'.  You know, the token kid who rides a unicycle and juggles at lunch feeling pretty good about himself.  I'll leave his name out for his sake even though its burned on my brain.  Everyone knows 'juggling guy's name still.  What's even better is that he also used to drive an old army jeep to school and the jocks would always put it into neutral and move it to the most inconvenient places while he was in class.  But from the looks of that flyer it seems the 'juggling guy' is doing all the moving nowadays.  Don't worry 'juggling guy', your secrets safe with me.