Sophie's other choice

I've never cut my nails for anyone or anything.  See, God gave me two things I'm sure of: high quality eye-lashes and great nails.  For years my piano and cello instructors told me I needed to cut my nails for optimal performance.  They were wrong.  My fight or flight instinct took over and I adapted all activities to be done, and done well, with long beautiful nails.  I never minded the extra clicking on the piano and computer keys, and I didn't let the my job in the law library last year stop me from getting fabulously ghetto airbrushed nails.  No, no one is going to make me cut them.  On wed. night my calligraphy teacher told us that the ladies in class need to keep their nails short and I leaned over to the lady next to me and said "no way" as I showed her why.  She admired the length and curve of my nail beds, naturally, as I sat there smugly knowing that I was not going to bow to the unreasonable demands set before me.   But as I began to actually bowl in my bowling class last night I had to watch as my thumb nail began to be torn away - torture.  The house bowling balls just aren't conducive to long nails.  So I made an executive decision and decided I needed to cut them.  The only thing I hate worse than cutting my nails short is watching them break and tear.  So, ladies and gentleman, get your back and arms scratches in this weekend before they disappear for the next two months.  I'm having a liquidation sale for back-scratches in church this Sunday.  The one benefit is that I can experiment more with nail polish colors.  Dark polish always looks better on nicely manicured short nails.  Alas......no amount of filing, calcium supplements or Sally Hansen age correct growth treatment could save my nails from my 9 lb. purple-swirled bowling ball of choice.