I can parquear my own car, thank you very much

I think I ate a bug tonight. I'm 97% sure I did. I was eating fries for dinner (yes, for dinner) and a bug flew down and tried to share one of my fries with me. I over dramatically began shaking the fry in an effort to fling the bug into space but it wouldn't. Its highly adaptable, sticky feet clung on for dear life. So I decided to break off the piece of fry containing the bug and continue eating. I had finished the fry and moved on to the cole slaw when my padre refilled my plate with more hot, perfectly salted home-made fries. My eye was immediately drawn to the shortest fry which I popped in my mouth, only to remember why it was so small; it had a bug on it. I stopped mid-chew and began to spit it out. I tried to be stealth about it but when I began digging out the fry pieces from my teeth with both hands I caught the attention of everyone else. "It had a bug on it" I said to the inquiring eyes. "I was eating a bug" I continued when I didn't sense any sympathy. I mumbled "gross" as a last resort. Nothing. "protein, its good for you" said my padre. Typical padre comment. Wow, that protein should keep me full for at least a couple of days - thanks everyone.

On another note, check out the sign i saw in the Fashion District of LA, aka the Tijuana of Tinsel Town:
Por rent, or for rent? Como what? I hablo the espanglish. If you need it translated let me know, I'd be happy to hacerlo for you.